Take Note(s)

It’s funny really. To think that the girl who crafts blogs for literally anyone willing to read, the girl who actually majors in writing, the girl who copes with her nerves by saying just about anything and everything that comes to mind, has trouble communicating. It’s hilarious, but it’s not entirely untrue.

Last semester was a whirlwind for sure. Life can be breezy but it can also be dangerous. Because if you think about it, none of us really know what we’re doing. Life is the greatest on-going lesson of them all. We just have to remember to take notes and show up to class.

Last semester’s curriculum? Speaking up. I am an eternal yes-woman. Going out on a Tuesday night? Sure. Move the party to my place? Already bought snacks. Want to cancel for the 5th time? You probably have a good reason I shouldn’t question. I like to please people, what’s so wrong about that? Happy friends equal a happy Ale. And happy Ale is so much more fun than sad Ale.

But sometimes, the pleasing part isn’t so, well, pleasing. Because you end up with nights wondering how you got there. How you got to feeling the way you do. It’s a lack of control. Like sending your notes to any classmate who asks for them and then realizing you missed a lecture because you were busy sending. Also there’s quiz tomorrow. Hoorah.

You decide to go to office hours. You take initiative. You take time for yourself and no one else. Then it hits you. You got the formula wrong. You thought people pleasing was the same as being kind. You thought staying quiet instead of speaking up was synonymous to taking the high road. And now, you’ve taught the entire class a wrong formula and you’ve given the wrong message.

So you start to solve your problems differently, correctly, and for the first time in a while, you feel in control again. You find answers. You see which of your classmates cheer on your success and which ones are still pissed off that you misinformed them in the first place. But the beautiful thing is that lessons are being learned. And you learn to manage your schedule and your life. And you learn to go to office hours from the very beginning.

But speaking up and giving your mind, your soul, your heart a voice with which to express themselves, are vital lessons to learn. Your dreams can’t speak, and neither can your needs, but you can. And that’s empowering.

So vocalize, people. Don’t interrupt and don’t silence others, but don’t quiet yourself either. Recognize the majesty in clarity and honesty. Speak, march, debate, and share. It’s your senior year and the bell is about to ring.