Reminder: Live Well

Long time, no see, lovelies. Hope everyone is still superbly curious and adequately caffeinated. There isn’t much to say about the past few months other than they have felt like years. Airports and goodbye’s and hello’s and everything else that ensues have caused me to forget the notion of a 24-hour day and a 7-day week. In other words, it has been busy. Life has been busy. And I find myself complaining and drinking 3 cups of coffee a day, and sleeping any time my body finds a remotely horizontal position, but I have also since realized just how lucky one is to be busy. To have moments to reflect on, to learn from mistakes because you actually have enough chances to make them. You also have opportunities to make decisions; good decisions. Just for you. And that’s pretty sweet.

This summer I spent 6 weeks studying in Paris. If you’ve seen my vlog you’ll know that New York brings actual tears (of joy) to my eyes. Well, you can just imagine my physical reaction to the idea of Paris. I’ve been meaning to speak more of my experience there… the adventures, the people, the culture, the metro…but the free moments have simply escaped me (see paragraph above.) More details coming soon, however, so do not despair! Hemingway spent his life writing a book about it, the least I can do is share a few things I’ve learned.

Upon returning from France, my family and I experienced a great loss. It’s something you know from your earliest days that will happen, but something you will never, ever be prepared for. And I experienced extreme joy and extreme sadness within a matter of moments, and that’s something no one really knows how to handle.

I tried to escape, to visit my friends in Austin, to not think about things. And writing to you, months after everything has happened, there are still moments in which I long for retreat. To deny, to ignore, to write off, or to simply put aside until another day. Because “you can always start tomorrow.” Little did I know that was often cause for more anxiety. Because you’re really only kidding yourself. And as someone who makes herself laugh an unnatural (and often shameful) amount of times, kidding yourself isn’t really the same thing.

So now I write to you, happily full of a breakfast that turned into lunch, with the first breeze Austin has felt in months, and with a mind that is taking things one day at a time. I may have to remind myself what day of the week it is, or to double-check my list of priorities, or to call my mom, or to eat foods that are as good for the body as they are for my soul, but since when are reminders a bad thing?